"Darwin Award" Recipient:
You all know about the Darwin Awards - it's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by the Coke machine, which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
Now we present this year's winner:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The boys at the lab finally figured out what it was, and what had happened.
It seems that a guy (or gal) somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take Off) unit that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. These are solid-fuel rockets which burn as the airplane starts down the runway, then are discarded once the fuel is spent. (They don't have an 'OFF' switch. They burn until the fuel is gone.) He took the JATO and his (her?) Chevy Impala out into the desert, found a long, straight stretch of road, attached the JATO to the car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off the rocket. Best as they could determine, he (she?) was doing somewhere between 250 - 300 mph when he came to that curve ... The brakes were completely burned away, apparently from trying to slow the car.
And for this year's runner-up:
This one needs an intro, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident (work accident, not car accident), so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response: