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Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB, and then slowly expands back to 200 MB.
Telstra Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Optus Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the TELSTRA Virus.
Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack --- once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
Right To Life Virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a consultant about possible alternatives.
Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Gallup Virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (Plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)
Parliamentary Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline Virus: You're in Perth, but your data ends up in Singapore.
Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
Elvis Virus: Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self-destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.
NIKE Virus: Just does it
John Howard Virus: Promises your computer will be relaxed and comfortable. Then deletes 20% of your Hard Disk.
Wharfie Virus: Fails to load.
John Newman Virus: Only attaches itself to very young files.


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