|Oprah Winfrey Virus:
||Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB, and
then slowly expands back to 200 MB.|
||Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
||Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much
for the TELSTRA Virus.
|Paul Revere Virus:
||This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns
you of impending hard disk attack --- once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
|Politically Correct Virus:
||Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers
to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
|Right To Life Virus:
||Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old
it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
consultant about possible alternatives.
|Government Economist Virus:
||Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.
|Federal Bureaucrat Virus:
||Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of your computer.
||Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time. (Plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
||The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a
message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
||You're in Perth, but your data ends up in Singapore.
||Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
||Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self-destructs; only
to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.
||Just does it
|John Howard Virus:
||Promises your computer will be relaxed and comfortable.
Then deletes 20% of your Hard Disk.
||Fails to load.
|John Newman Virus:
||Only attaches itself to very young files.