UniMess (TM) (C) By Design
This piece of nonsense is edited from a series of messages posted on Compuserve, mostly by Duane Percox. Rumours of his 'expiry' have been greatly exaggerated.
It was late - I must have dozed off at the keyboard, and then startled by a noise far off in the distance, I awoke to find my monitor flashing this message, which at the time meant nothing:
Grabbing pencil and paper, I jotted down the cryptic message, wondering aloud what the %$#& was going on here....
I awoke the next morning to a bad dream. A nightmare in fact.
I had dreamed that I was forced to change every VB3.0 program I had every written that used a string variable to store data that wasn't necessarily displayable (IOW:binary). But thank goodness I was awake now, and it was only a dream! Please, let it be a dream. If not, then please tell me why By Design created Unimess(tm).
Maybe this is too surreal to grasp. But if what I have dreamed is true then I would like to grab the one responsible and shake him until his fillings fall out.
Am I crazy?
Really? Dad, what do you do during the day when you're gone??
But why don't you just give them what they need? Wouldn't that make them happy?
Ooops, the phone is ringing. Let me get that - I'll be right back...
Boy, what a strange accent. That was Mr. Weeno Bedder, from By Design! Seems Mr. Bedder wants me over to his office to discuss licensing his company's new technology, Unimess(tm).
Unimess(tm) (c) By Design .... itís not a dream...itís not a dream...
Thank you for jumping in, sir.
Well, it looks like another one "gets it". The lights are already starting to come on... I predicted it'd take a month or so of hands-on. I'll be darned. I may have been wrong. I hate it when that happens.
In any case, please take care of Duane. It might be best to restrict his travel... it's probably not a good idea to let him go near Redmond. Certainly you should try to keep him away from sharp objects (and OLE Unicode objects, Unicode translation, ETC, etc) for the time being. I hope all turns out well, but these things happen. Give him our best.
Iím afraid Duane has expired... it seems the Unimess(tm) (c) By Design info was too much for him too bear. His last words were difficult to hear, but I believe what he was trying to say was: "They couldn't...they wouldn't...now way would they...(cough)(cough)... I can't do it...I won't do it...never will allow...(cough)(cough)... too many lines....too many lines....too many lines...not By Design!..."
One final note. I don't know the significance of this, but he was
clutching a VB3.0 Language Reference Manual tightly to his chest
with both hands when he finally went.